2005-03-01 - 6:20 a.m.
I sat in the cold-backed, wooden rocking chair this morning at 02:45 am and rocked my daughter, who had been awake and crying for a couple of hours due to the nasty sinus infection she has. I figured my wife deserved the break, since she had such a rough time with my son the day before and she had pulled her shift already this morning.
After some rocking and some skyward pleading she finally rested more comfortably and I was able to put her back to bed. It was 03:15, but I was up so I decided to take my shower.
I stared at my gut in the mirror and wondered when I would decide to fit some exercise into my schedule. My reflection stared back - tired, hopeless and disappointed.
I extracted some brown sludge from my sinuses; I'm still sick after nine days. I thought more about the state of my health lately and how I have been feeling very old and broke down. I ache all of the time these days.
I made it out to the car before 04:00 am and started scraping ice and whisking the 4 inches of snow from it in preparation for my one hour and thirty minute commute on a poorly plowed road. The air was cold and the ground slippery.
And then...I looked up.
A 3/4 moon glowed silvery in the morning sky, illuminating the edges of clouds against the deep blue-black of space; and through the patchy clouds the stars shone brilliant and steady, bringing a feeling of certainty to the Universe.
And in the car I listened to the radio. Two men, one in Glasgow, Scotland and one in London collaborated on their guitars and over the distance played in unison a peaceful and melodic classical Spanish piece the beauty of which brought a tear to my eye as I drove my long road.
And when I got to work, I read an encouraging e-mail from a friend.
Just when life seems so bitter, I am reminded that it isn't all bad and that I have to remember to keep an eye open for some things that really matter.
