2005-03-04 - 6:56 a.m.
Someone bumped the metronome as they walked by and the arm has been flying back and forth, beating out a hectic and uneven rhythm.
But now the arm is slowing and settling back into the normal tap, tap, tap of the every day rhythm of my life...the one that makes sense.
My Bi-polar episode is coming to a close and I find myself evening out again. This time was longer than most and very bumpy.
Thank god it's over. I'm finally able to focus on my role as a father in my relationship with my son again. That's not to say that I went crazy on him - I love him more than air and I always try to consider the welfare of his whole person in every issue. But during my recent "episode" I was finding it difficult to step outside of the emotions of dealing with his hulk-ish nature and remain patient.
Last night though, when I got home, he was up to his usual it's-the-end-of-the-day-and-I'm-exhausted-and-insane antics, putting his poor (currently sick) mother through the ringer with his yelling and crying. I was able to go into his room with him, sit down, and talk through the issue logically and thoroughly. At the end of it he was smiling and saying, "I'm sorry for yelling at you mommy." and we had struck (another) good deal on how we all would deal with our anger when we feel it. My wife and I are trying so hard to employ and maintain a good plan for dealing with his state of high-hulkish-emotionality and anger. I told you he was born angry, right?
Having a plan is important. One that you (the parents) and your children know intimately, understand thoroughly, and support each other in adhering to...especially when the emotions of a 4 year old or mom-at-her-whits-end are in all their mushroom cloud glory.
