2005-03-10 - 1:54 p.m.
I know I have already posted twice today, but I need to get this off my chest, so I can stop thinking about it.
In my past I was...let's just say I lacked vision and self-control. If a piece of candy was set before me, I ate it. I couldn't see past the moment and envision the bigger picture.
In those days, in my youth, there were a lot of girls, they were offering a lot of candy, and I had a hole in me as big as the void of space. I tried hard to fill that void with what they had to offer, but it never got full and I experienced the philosophical equivalent of rotting my teeth and a really bad tummy ache.
Now I am head-over-heels in love with a woman and she truly completes me. One cannot make another happy, but two can close the circle on happiness.
A darkness is creeping up on me, but from without...not from within. God no...there's no chance that it could come from within. There's this woman and I think she's making a go for me. I'm not stupid, nor am I naive and I can read the signs as if from a billboard and I'm telling you...she's making her move.
I don't want this. I don't want to have to tell someone to back off, especially now and in this environment. Things are bad enough without me ostracizing someone - it will make everything worse.
Retreat, regroup, form a strategy. I'm on my horse...
