2005-07-28 - 7:00 a.m.
You know, I’m at that point in (my) life when I’m too old to hang with the younger crowd and still too young to relate to older people and everyone my age is trying so hard to figure it all out that none of us can form any sort of solidarity.
I’m reaching middle age and so I’m no longer youthfully attractive, nor am I older and distinguished – I’m at an in-between stage and my narcissistic inner-self is suffering a little, but resolved to accept life.
I’m at the point in may career where I’m not an entry-level, junior guy learning the ropes, but I’m not upper management and have no interest in (ever) being that.
I drive a minivan and a (small) station wagon.
I’m an artist on hold.
I’m a family man with too little time for my family.
I’m in between.
For the first time, in a long time, I feel unsure about life. I can’t get a bearing on where I’m headed exactly. I know the general direction, but it’s like being in the middle of the ocean with no compass and a clouded over sky – I can’t see the stars right now. I need to see the stars.
I need to climb a mountain and look into the vast Milky Way and breath pure air.
I guess this point comes for all of us and I’m sure I’ll press through, but right now…
